What do you and your squeeze do to keep that spark flaming? My friend, we’ll call him George, just got back from a 10-day cruise to the Bahamas, with his wife. I anticipated stories about romantic sunset dinners, getting sexy on the beach, and fun excursions. Instead, he said, “Midori, it was kinda awkward. It was nice, but I was ready to come home.” Wow, so much planning and research went into this trip, how the heck was it just ‘nice’… and ‘awkward’???
When I asked George to elaborate, he said there were long periods of silence, and when they went on day trips, he felt he was merely the bag carrier. He said she made sure to bring her 20-pound book everywhere they went, and it was at least 150º every day. Unfortunately, it didn’t sound like he even got a happy ending bonus, at the end of the day. Poor George!
They weren’t connected. In fact, I got a sense that they were more like strangers, being forced to be together. What I found most interesting was that this couple met years ago while they were both traveling. He told me how they laughed throughout that entire trip and loved sharing the travel adventure. BTW – they didn’t speak the same language, however, found a way to communicate. They had such a great time; they got married! How could they have become so detached?
I asked him why he thought it was uncomfortable. “Midori we haven’t gone on a vacation, without bambinos, in 20 years. Money and time were not the issues; we simply didn’t plan anything. Shit, maybe that was a mistake.” Ummm maybe, but I think there’s more to it.
You don’t need to go on exotic escapes to keep the passion alive, but doing things that help you interact and have fun, are keys to long-term happiness.
It’s not a news flash to know you need to keep dating, but date with purpose and strategy. Make time to grab your squeeze, a swimming suit, a few snacks and hit the beach. Find things to talk about, ask intimate questions, get inquisitive, and really, really listen.
Some of you may be crazy busy, finding it difficult to set aside hours a week to connect, let alone go on vacation. If you put 100% of your focus on your partner and are mentally present, during your short interludes together, your interactions will be much more significant.
Remember to celebrate your relationship and acknowledge how lucky you are to have found one another!