Updated: Nov 9, 2020
Do you know your decision-making process is based on habits? Should you go after that kick-butt job, become an entrepreneur, or stay home to eat a gallon of ice cream? These choices are a result of our core beliefs, which are formed into habits. Having coached 100’s of people, it’s easy to see their patterns quickly and know how they are most likely to move.
Someone who makes a statement like, “I didn’t get the job because Joe kisses up to the boss” is probably suffering from a victim mentality. The limiting belief is ‘the world is against me.’ They will continue to blame outside sources for their lack of accomplishment. The thing is, as long as they hold onto this mentality, the pattern of poor results will continue. Do you see the habit?
Your healthy beliefs will serve you well, but unhealthy and irrational self-limiting beliefs will prevent you from reaching your greatest potential.
It becomes vital to acknowledge what’s driving your decisions. Examine which of them are unproductive and inaccurate. Once you determine the beliefs keeping you stuck, you can take the necessary steps to let go of those affecting your potential. Hence, replace the crappy habits with one’s that push you forward!
Here are three unhealthy beliefs that will make you less effective and rob you of the mental strength needed to become your best. Continue reading to learn how to replace these thoughts:
Unhealthy Beliefs About Yourself
Obviously, thoughts of being a failure will dramatically affect your world. On the other hand, overly optimistic beliefs can be unhealthy too. Let’s say you convince yourself that you’re the next most prominent movie star to ever live. However, you’re consistently rejected after several years of trying to ‘make it.’ If you set the standard for yourself so high and you don’t reach it, this can be a huge punch to your self-image.
What if you reframed your belief? You might state, ‘I’m going to succeed in the media business.’ Think of how many more doors would be available to you. Maybe you wouldn’t be an A-rated celebrity, BUT you could have an incredible career in publicity, working in the studio, or a host of other options.
Of course, there are a million opportunities in the Hollywood world. The point is, by carefully articulating your beliefs, you can excel much easier. Make a habit of thinking more broadly.
Unhealthy Beliefs About Others
Believing everyone is manipulative, untrustworthy, or against you will make it tough to develop healthy relationships. Those who are gifted at developing relationships accomplish far more than the Negative Nelly’s of the world. Who wants to be around a sourpuss? On the flip side, believing everyone can be trusted or everyone is kind can cause you to be taken advantage of.
A million years ago, I had a supervisor, Joelle, who was the poster child for Negative Nelly. She consistently had a scowl tattooed across her face. Until one morning, she came in, and it was as though someone had taken over her body. Joelle was smiling, engaging, and surprisingly fun to be around. From that day on, the work performance of her team increased. Those who walked in the store could feel a positive vibe. She shifted her mindset to realize others were not out to get her. This epiphany made it safe for her to release a better version of herself. It also aided her to rise in the corporation. Joelle’s new belief pattern was, ‘when I am optimistic in the world; the world rewards me!
Unhealthy Beliefs About the World
My dad is the king of believing the world is falling apart. Of course, if you watch the news all day, as he does, one is led to think we’re completely screwed! The truth is many things have improved. Overall, wealth has increased globally. Life expectancy is longer. Violent crimes in the U.S. have decreased too. However, what you’re looking for, you can find. If you expect ugly, it’s there. If you choose to see the world as a beautiful home with good people, you can prove this as well.
Living in fear of what could happen or feeling a high level of pessimism is like attaching a giant boulder to yourself. It’s going to prevent you from going after your dreams.
You may have many different beliefs about yourself, other people, and the world around you. And while you are most likely to think your views are 100 percent accurate, the truth is you will be holding onto at least a few core beliefs that are unproductive and irrational.
Self-Limiting Beliefs Turn into Limiting Prophecies
Self-limiting and unhealthy beliefs lead to bad habits, producing negative results. This vicious cycle can be tough to break. I had a client who believed she was unlovable and bounced from one doomed relationship to another again and again. Every person she dated treated her poorly, which reinforced her core belief that she was not deserving of love. After working with her for 90 days to replace this thinking pattern, she had a new relationship with a man who broke the mold. He was supportive, loving and made her feel valued. The most crucial element to know is she allowed him to treat her well. She created a new habit of choosing men.
How to Change Your Self-Limiting Beliefs?
It can take a while to change your limiting beliefs as you’ve likely held on to them for a long time. You also probably believe they are 100 percent accurate. Moreover, do you continuously look for evidence that reinforces your beliefs - as my dad does? You’re not going to talk yourself out of these self-proclaimed truths overnight. Telling yourself the opposite of what your self-views are won’t suddenly make you believe you are a winner deep down inside.
The best way to change your core beliefs is to challenge them head-on. Become aware of your negative self-talk and thoughts. Change your habits to chip away at your negative beliefs a little bit at a time. For instance, do you purposely avoid interacting with people because you think you’re too socially awkward? If so, commit to chatting with two new people daily. Put yourself out there to challenge your core beliefs. Realize each engagement improves your relationship-building muscle.
How Your Comfort Zone Blocks Opportunities
I have a colleague, Noah. Every time we went to social gatherings, he’d pretend he was consumed with text messages. He has since made a 180º! Today, he speaks confidently on stage, significantly increasing his business. He attends weekly networking events and has a ton of new friends. Noah’s a perfect example of how pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can have remarkable benefits!
While challenging your beliefs, pay close attention to evidence suggesting your opinions might not be 100 percent accurate. For Noah, he had to challenge the thought he didn’t have social skills. Slowly you’ll unravel your negative ideas about yourself.
The truth is you’re more capable than you think!
So, challenging your core beliefs will help your brain see yourself and everyone in the world in a more precise light. Stay aware of your limiting beliefs, so you can transform them. You're world will start to magically open up and opportunities will present themselves.
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