How Porn Really Affects Your Marriage

How Porn Affects Your Marriage

Concerns Over Affects of Porn on Your Marriage?

I’ve had many clients approach me with the concern over the affects porn may have on their marriage. Some have come from a religious perspective, others from an addiction issue, and many have been worried about where it’s taking their sex life. I also have clients who use porn to enhance and stimulate their connection. Here’s an article provided by BodyLogicMD, based on their study to help you gain an unbiased perspective.  Let me know your thoughts on this matter.



It’s a sensitive subject, no doubt. Often times, however, it seems to be attached with a humorous plot line, such as the teenage protagonist getting “caught in the act” watching porn or a group of curious boys finding a stack of Playboys under an older brother’s bed. That’s because the topic is not only relatable, but anything about sex is going to get giggles from the crowd. In real life, the way we react is not so clear cut. On one hand, watching porn can be complete innocuous and cause no harm. On the other hand, addictive personality types can find that pornography is a destructive vice than can cause real damage to that person and their relationships. How can pornography exist in a successful relationship?

In an effort to create an informed discussion about the topic, BodyLogicMD conducted a study to more deeply understand the porn habits of Americans. They sought to find out how people truly thought about porn and its involvement in our lives and relationships, investigating the different preferences and experiences of over 1,200 people to determine trends and drawn conclusions about mass opinions of poronography. Their findings are important to enable us to learn more about common habits, think critically about the impact of pornography on our culture and help us to discover our own preferences.

One quote from the study demonstrates the differences in how the genders are affected if and when porn becomes a destructive habit: “A fair percentage of respondents cited porn as an issue in their relationship, and women were three times more likely to experience relationship challenges related to their partner’s viewing habits.” It is crucial for women (and men) to speak up to your partners if you think that their watching schedule is becoming too frequent. It’s important to open up that line of communication with your husbands if it is causing you stress. In many cases, bringing up the problem can help someone overcome the damaging parts of their habit.

The conversation about watching porn directly involves many other topics by default, including attraction preferences and masturbation, among others. Couples must be mature enough with each other to discuss these topics in open air with no judgement. That is the only way to come to a consensus in finding a balance between porn and your relationship.

As is the case with most things in our indulgent world, an excess of something can lead to a bad thing. Porn can become a problem in a marriage when one—or both—partners are using it in excess. The study reveals that this can be more one-sided, with men and women claim to watching pornography at nearly inverse rates. Over 38% of men admitting to daily or near-daily viewing, while 37% of women admit to it being only a weekly occurrence. When one or both partners are spending less time turned on by their partners and focusing their sexual attention on a computer screen, tensions can rise between two people in a relationship.

This topic doesn’t have to be something viewed through a childish lens; it can be a productive discussion about the individual and unique needs of each person and each relationship. Solving weak areas in your relationship helps strengthen the bond between partners.

Go to those places that might make you uncomfortable. Consider the pros and cons of pornography in your relationship. Pull down the veil of fiction that pornography can create. Remember that behind the screen are real people, and you are not excluded from being open-minded about your sex life. Real empowerment can come from learning more about your body and what you want out of sex.

A conversation about pornography can be a catalyst into a larger discussion about desires, wants, and goals within your own relationship. This topic warrants a conversation of its own, but it can be a natural segue to more broad and meaningful talks. Digging deeper into what makes each person tick can help both partners understand each other better. Exposing vulnerability in a relationship and giving attention to it can be a liberating first step to falling deeper in love than before.



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Shaina Sklar is a freelance writer, specializing in copywriting across a variety of industries and verticals. When she isn’t writing, she can be found traveling America in search of high-fidelity music venues and spending time with her cat.

Click to learn more about the study.

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