When was the last time you felt gorgeous and sexy in lingerie? Do you have a drawer filled with pretty undergarments that have forgotten who you are? Chrystal Bougon, owner of Curvy Girl, a plus-size lingerie boutique, shared ideas to help us feel sexier in the bedroom.
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Get Over It
The first step to enjoying playing dress-up is letting go of your inhibitions with your partner. If he keeps coming around he’s probably into you. He knows your imperfections but still loves you and seeing you in a spicy little outfit makes him crazy!
There is nothing sexier than confidence. One who carries themselves with pride is always hot. Whereas, when you are uncomfortable in your own skin, it is visibly apparent. Confidence is simply a mindset. Your size is irrelevant. Begin telling yourself how fabulous you are. When you notice Negative Nelly chirping in your head, replace her with positive comments. This tactic works like magic and the more you practice it, the more it becomes your new belief system.
Remember, you are who you believe you are.
Chrystal suggests, “The greedier you get (in intimacy), the sexier you are for your partner.” Make the experience about you. You get to decide what you want and the actions that will take place in the bedroom. Your partner wants to know what you want. His/her response will empower you and make it easier to express your desires, in the future.
Sex will become a lot more fun, and you’ll feel more freedom.
Make Sex Plans
The longer you avoid intimacy, the longer it takes to get it back. We all have busy schedules so putting a ‘sex date’ on the calendar is helpful. Planned out well, it can increase anticipation and elevate the experience. A happy, long-term relationship is based on a foundation of connection. This is why it’s so important to make time for intimacy. Sex releases oxytocin which is the ‘love hormone’ that brings you together mentally, as well as physically.
How to Buy Lingerie Your Partner Will Wear
Make sure to look at the size of the clothes she’s been wearing recently, especially her bra size. What colors does she tend to wear? Try to purchase items that fit her taste. Although, if you’re financially able, choose an outfit that you like as well.
Building anticipation is key to a mutually successful encounter. If you spring the lingerie on her, with the hope that she’ll immediately be turned-on, be ready for disappointment. Instead, use the ‘sprinkle method’. Text her that you’re shopping for her and that you are envisioning how incredible she will look in the garments. Be explicit in a tasteful, thoughtful manner. Say something like, “I can’t wait to see how this silky negligee will look against your soft, beautiful skin.” If you get vulgar before the build up, it will most likely backfire. Send several of these types of texts over a few days and even leave a handwritten message for bonus points.
Make compliments a part of your daily communication. The more you make your partner feel cared for and nurtured the more willing and trusting they will be in the bedroom.
She is also the author of “Making It Hot” and it’s part of her Curvy Girl Playbook.
She went from being a high tech refugee to high touch. Engineering Project Manager to Romance Coach.
Chrystal is in the process of filming a reality show based on the day in the life of Curvy Girl Lingerie. Her show will be called Plus Life.
Check out her blog here: http://www.CurvyGirlInc.com
Shop Curvy Girl: http://shop.curvygirlinc.com