Celebrities ups and downs get played out in the public eye, but we ALL deal with life’s challenges. Learn the strategies that Dr. Ildiko Tabori uses to help her celebrity clients and how to apply them to your life or help your partner.
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Dr. Ildiko Tabori is Los Angeles-based psychologist, who works with comedians, celebrities, and professional athletes., among other groups. We discussed how depression affects so many of us as we go through the highs and lows of life. Tabori shared suggestions on how we can help our loved ones to dig out of the dark, lonely hole this deep sadness can cause.
The unexpected suicide of funny guy, Robin Williams, was a shock to many of us. How could this well-established comedian that had been making us laugh for decades, suffer from depression? His suicide shed light on the hidden reality of this debilitating disease.
Although laughter can help alter our mood from an unhappy to a positive one, some choose to hide behind the laughter. Dr. Tabori explained how comedians often experience a type of high from the stage. They have an ability to look at the ugliness in life and see the humor in it, making us laugh with them. Unfortunately, many use humor as a veil to hide their inner strife.
Actors and professional athletes are in the limelight, so we witness their highs and lows. The ups and downs of life happen to all of us but without the scrutinizing public eye. Experiencing career issues such as job loss, or being passed over for a promotion, can significantly affect our confidence and pride. Equally as applicable is how we attach the success of our children in school and extracurriculars such as dance and sports, as a direct perception of ourselves.
Dr. Tabori suggests 3 Strategies to Dig Out from Depression Quicker:
1. Redefine Success
Many have a financial dollar amount attached to what they associate with success. Your title within an organization may be incredibly important to you. Do not compare yourself to others. This is your journey. Think of what you enjoy most. Is it traveling, gardening, spending quality time with family and friends? Change your mindset to define success as being able to enjoy that which you love the most. Assigning a dollar figure to your happiness is also helpful.
2. Plan Ahead
Sometimes we’re forced to make a change. Pro athletes have a limited time that they will be playing at the pro level. The days of working for the same firm until retirement is no longer the norm. Know what you are going to do next. Have your resume updated and be two steps ahead. What are different avenues you can take? What skills and passions do you have? Think outside the box and get excited about the options you have.
If you’re interested in pursuing a career change what steps do you need to take? Do you need more education, a job shadow, networking? The more you take action and plan, the more prepared and happy you’ll be to jump ship.
3. See a Doctor
Dr. Tabori said the first step when you are experiencing depression, is to get a regular health check from your general practitioner. A mental health condition can be a result of a thyroid issue, diet, dehydration, lack of sleep, hormonal and testosterone changes, and many other reasons, that can be discovered by your doctor.
Coping with a Partner that is Experiencing Depression.
It can be incredibly straining on a marriage or relationship when one person is going through an extended period of deep sadness. Dr. Tabori suggests being supportive to help them work through it but do not become an enabler. Offer to give them their alone time by taking the kids out for the day BUT make it clear that when you get home, it’s going to be ‘family time’. Have dinner together or play board games, anything to incorporate your partner back in.
You’re Not Their Therapist!
Encourage your partner to get treatment but don’t even slightly attempt to be their therapist. It’s protocol for therapists and psychologists to refer out when their loved ones need therapy. The same applies to you … although WebMD makes it so believe, we can practically do brain surgery. I’ve been known to misdiagnose everyone in my family! Leave it to the experts.
Change can be frightening, and life can be unpredictable. Having a life partner can make these times smoother. I host a live social media show, ‘Happy Hour Friday’, about re-connecting each week with your partner to discuss issues, challenges, and wins. Make it a practice to help each other plan the course you want in life. This connection will help elevate your relationship and life by creating the sense of partnership, support, and excitement.
Ildiko Tabori, Ph.D., is a native of Los Angeles, California and has been working in the mental health field for more than 15 years. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology at Los Angeles in 2003 and has been a practicing Licensed Psychologist and Neuropsychologist since 2004. In 2011, Dr. Tabori was asked to become the Psychologist-in-Residence at the world famous Laugh Factory in Hollywood. Here, she works with comedians, actors, writers and other entertainment professionals to improve their emotional health and streamline their creative processes.
After famous comedian Robin Williams tragically committed suicide, the increasing interest of the public to understand the tears behind the laughter came with high demand. Ildiko has recently been featured in The Los Angeles Times, The Guardian, CBS Los Angeles, NPR Radio, ITV, and HLN among many others.
Dr. Tabori trained at the St. Jude Medical Center Regional Brain Injury and Spinal Cord Injury Program. She has been an adjunct clinical professor at Pepperdine University and has worked in the justice system evaluating and treating criminal offenders. Dr. Tabori provides media consultation and expertise in the field of psychology and has also consulted on screenplays and documentaries.
In addition to her work with the Laugh Factory, Dr. Tabori continues with her private practice in Los Angeles where she specializes in the areas of Individual, Couples and Family Therapy, Geriatrics, Neuropsychological and Psychological Assessment, Forensic and Criminal Psychology, Sport Neuropsychology, and media consultation. Dr. Tabori also provides consultation, evaluation and treatment to older adults and their families at the Hollenbeck-Palms Retirement Community. She is currently the consulting sport neuropsychologist for Peace and Sport.
Click here to learn more about Dr. Tabori http://www.DrIldikoTabori.com